Once Upon a Time...

Posted by LM Stansbury on Thursday, August 14, 2008 12:00:00 AM

Once upon a time, Baby-boomer Liberals who thrived on blaming the West for all the evils of the world were left discouraged when at last, the iron fist of Communism proved a piteous opponent against the land of the free and the home of the brave. Undeterred by the vast array of problematic facts, the Baby-boomer liberals remained committed to their cause against the American ideals of old. Upon accepting that their allegations of American Imperialism were no longer all the rage in the public square, learning that some of the truly misguided had actually begun referring to her as the ‘shinning city upon a hill,’ they marched on in the pursuit of the next generation were they were certain to find fresh and impressionable minds.
They found those minds on the university campuses. Eventually, though sadly not in all cases, they exchanged their hippy ponytails and their Birkenstock sandals for more seasoned and professional attire. With a façade of intellectual honesty and age now on their side, they fiercely exploited the gift which had been entrusted them by millions of unsuspecting parents. First they filled their syllabi with all things un-American and then they shamed the students who dared question the legitimacy of their liberal message. And when the students raised their hands to argue the excellence of Ronald Reagan, the Baby-boomer Liberals smiled and warned such argument might garner an “F,” if found in a term paper.
And so the years passed and the students grew in their appreciation of the benefits of Socialism. They applauded the efforts of those who selflessly sacrificed a work day or two for the sake of a good war protest. The Baby-boomer Liberal educators had learned a thing or two from the Vietnam Era, and were vigilant about reminding their students that one could support the soldier without supporting his cause. And so the lessons continued and over time the students grew in their disdain for the spread of Democracy and advanced in their understanding and appreciation for the world’s hatred for the United States. As time passed, the young students transformed into young graduates, moving from the college campuses and into the work place, where they proudly hung their college diplomas upon their office walls.
In the work place however, life had become considerably more complicated for the young graduates and those who had not stayed behind in pursuit of their post-graduate degrees wished that they had. Here in the work force, opinions were varied and some individuals began arguing Socialism as a negative, even un-American pursuit. Some went so far as to propose that Socialism had never even been achieved, claiming that Communism, its vehicle, had never been triumphant enough to evolve into the socialist ideal. These radicals in the work place boldly and even proudly referred to themselves as ‘Conservatives.’ This proud proclamation surprised the students as they had always been made to believe that Conservatism was nothing more than a demonstration of ignorance and inferior education. These people appeared intelligent though there must have been something arigh as on occasion, some of them even went so far as to speak highly of President Bush.
When confronted on the various issues they had discussed in their classrooms, the young graduates were confused by the version of history their counterparts were relating. The Conservatives declared that the words, ‘separation of church and state,’ were not in the constitution at all. They absurdly insisted that ‘3/5th of all other persons,’ was not a depiction of our founding father’s racism. Rather, they claimed, it was a victory of the anti-slavery north who refused to give the southern-slave owners two votes by way of their slaves, thereby expanding the power of the pro-slavery South. These Conservatives were confused. Their version of history was like nothing that had been taught in the Universities.
Now faced with a conflict like that which has arisen in Georgia, these lunatic conservatives were demanding support of the Georgians and their struggle for independence, rather than maintaining neutrality so as not to alienate the Russians. These conservatives seemed to lack any understanding for the sensitive nature of foreign policy. Some of them did not even seem to care whether various other countries liked the United States at all. These fools had seemed to bypass their education altogether, operating on the assumption that freedom was to the benefit of every nation and every people.
The graduates were dumbfounded, searching desperately for the source of this marked disconnect. After all, these Conservatives were college graduates as well. They had read all of the same literature. They had listened to all of the same professors. Yet, when they spoke, they made reference to people and to documents which had not been detailed in the classrooms. They harkened upon Patrick Henry and John Witherspoon. They spoke of the writings of John Adams and Milton Friedman. They sited quotes from Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln. They claimed that Albert Einstein was a Christian and they read books written by authors such as Natan Sharansky and Dinesh D’Souza. They sited information they had gathered from Sean Hannity and the National Review. These people were not referring to their university studies for guidance. Not at all. They had been reading since their college days and the literature they had gathered was very much the opposite the lessons learned at the University. They were even listening to radicals on the radio and over the internet. They were reading so much they even began to accuse our nation’s courts of rewriting history.
What was to be done? These Conservatives implored the young graduates to read as much as they could possibly manage but the graduates argued they hadn’t the time. They insisted they were gathering the information necessary for a thoughtful vote in November by way of CNN and Oprah Winfrey. But the conservatives insisted they were unprepared. When the Democratic Candidate arrived, the graduates knew they had found their leader. He was a powerful speaker, a handsome representative and his campaign overflowed with messages of hope and change. But with the arrival of this candidate, the Conservatives in the work place had become more vocal than ever. They claimed this leader was no leader at all. They argued that his message was devoid of specifics and that his resume was lacking in experience. The graduates scoffed at the conservative complaints and referred instead to the Daily Show were the comedians had clearly made their presidential selection. If they turned television louder, perhaps they would not be able to hear the conservative pleas at all.
And so it went the Baby-boomer Liberals on the University Campuses and their peers in the newsrooms had convinced the next generation that America had been to blame all along. They had created a population of graduates who were ready and eager to vote for any candidate Green Day, Pink and Oliver Stone endorsed. And while the young graduates and those who had taken advantage of their ignorance marched on toward the November election, the Conservatives remained focused on the task at hand. With love of country as their backbone and with the same driving force that had guided the founders, the Conservatives continued to read. They continued to challenge the platitudes of the Democratic Candidate and they continued to champion the ideals of old. Yes, these Conservatives had once been educated by the Baby-boomer Liberals, but upon additional reading, throughout college and beyond, they had done the unthinkable, they had acquired the greatest tool, the weapon which frightened the Democrats most, they had become truly educated.
Knowing that they could not compete with the Conservatives on points of fact, the Baby-boomer Liberals and their faithful began to curtail the conservative message by way of cable news. They would cease discussion on all issues that pleased the Conservatives most. The Baby-boomer Liberals and their faithful would stop airing positive breakthroughs in the war in Iraq. They would stop offering the Republican presidential candidate equal airtime to his counterpart. They would host Global Warming symposiums in high schools and refuse air time to scientists who questioned the science. They would stop speaking about the Conservative’s ideas altogether. They would silence their platforms and destroy their family’s reputations when they refused to accept defeat. This would certainly do the trick. Enough control and the Conservatives would no longer have a voice. Until the Conservatives ceased trying to convince the young graduates that the Baby-boomer Liberals were nothing more than Socialists in sheep’s clothing, their voices would be silenced…
If only the young graduates would begin to read.